


You aren’t mine.; Let’s start over.

by pyromaniac_ta



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Bad end, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, akira accepted yaldy’s deal, called a good end though, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 14:45:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18523684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyromaniac_ta/pseuds/pyromaniac_ta
Summary: Akira changes his mind about what he wants for the Phantom Thieves, abandoning Yusuke in the process.Yusuke remembers several ways Akira loved him.





	You aren’t mine.; Let’s start over.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by shukitaweek’s betrayal prompt.

“ You look so happy right now. It kinda reminds me of when you thought you hated our guts. It’s the exact opposite of when we first met. Tell me why you’re so happy now, Yusuke. I haven’t even shown you what I brought for you. “

 

Akira’s expression was curious behind his glasses, almost cheeky as he held a single flower out to Yusuke after one of their outings. A pink rose that he made a joke about matching Yusuke’s face right then.

 

\\\\\

 

“ You’re doing it. You’re smiling again- what are you thinking about, Yusuke? “

 

Yusuke wasn’t really thinking about anything in particular that day. He had just realized he was content, watching Akira make coffees and lockpicks and sarcastic jokes he didn’t always catch. Yusuke mumbled something about loving Akira, knowing he caught it from the look in his eyes as he pushed at his glasses.

 

\\\\\

 

“ That thing you do with your fingers… What are you seeing? “

 

How was Yusuke supposed to answer that question? He wasn’t very good with words. They’d been walking back to Yusuke’s dorm when he missed the last train and he’d stopped, framing several brightly colored lights between his fingers, going off about how these lights were pretty in their own way, trying to do his best not to sound confusing. It hadn’t worked, Akira ended up chucking and telling him to paint it when they got back to his dorm.

 

\\\\\

 

“ Here, it’s strong but I added more sugar for you. You look tired, Yusuke. We’ll take the day off from Mementos tomorrow. And… thanks. You didn’t have to do that. I  _ can _ take a hit, you know? “

 

Yusuke hummed in thanks, smiling at the extra thought Akira put into it, smirking at his last comment.

 

“ Of course you can. That didn’t mean I wanted to watch it happen. “

 

The coffee would relax him, he could watch Akira do a few things around the store, around his room before they both went up to sleep. Before Akira thanked him in a much more personal way.

 

\\\\\

 

“ You did good work today. I’m proud of you, Fox, let’s keep it up. “

 

This was after they’d changed a few more petty criminals’ hearts. They’d done some aggressive pushing in the Metaverse, Yusuke stepping up when Akira said they needed to make more progress in Mementos. That little bit of praise made Yusuke’s chest flutter a bit, carrying over to their next trip into the Metaverse as well, making him fight just as hard.

 

\\\\\

 

“ The way you think… It’s amazing. It’s refreshing. I like it. “

 

They were lying side by side in Yusuke’s dorm, the taller boy moving to rest his head on Akira’s chest.

 

“ It’s different. And that’s why you like it. That’s all. “

 

Yusuke had said that just as a fact, not trying to doubt how Akira felt. But he went on to make sure Yusuke understood that it was more than that. He didn’t just like Yusuke’s novelty, he was surprised himself at how interesting he found Yusuke as a person. Yusuke didn’t have anything to say to that but Akira found a way to get the words out of him regardless.

 

\\\\\

 

“ Hey. Pretty boy. I love you~ “

 

Yusuke’s nose had twitched at that particular name, he was going to turn and express his irritation but Akira was standing there with a bundle of flowers. Simple, common ones: roses and tulips and violets, varying shades of red, pink, and purple showing themselves off. Yusuke had puffed his cheeks out, rolling his eyes because Akira knew he’d be forgiven immediately with a gift like that.

 

\\\\\

 

There were so many things said between them these past few months Yusuke could think about it for hours. So many words, gestures, affections, flowers, cups of coffee, kisses… 

 

He sighed, drawing Akira’s attention to him from across Leblanc’s bar top.

 

“ What? Bored of waiting for me to close up already? Just draw me in this apron, the time’ll pass quicker than you think. I’ll even pose for you if it’ll help. “

 

Yusuke set his pencil down, shaking his head as he chuckled. He hadn’t sketched much of anything anyway, with his head caught up in memories. 

 

“ Thank you for the offer, Akira, but I’m afraid I’m much too distracted at the moment. No, I’m not bored, not at all. My apologies if it seemed that way. I was just… thinking back. On us. When we first met. The things you’ve done for me. When we actually became a… couple. Hm. I’m really just glad, I suppose. That’s all. Glad that I had the chance to meet someone like you. And grateful you’d go to such lengths for me. I’d be glad to follow you anywhere. “

 

Akira had almost looked shocked but he smiled then, pushing his glasses up and telling Yusuke he loved him too. He had such a funny way of saying it.

 

\\\\\ 

 

Standing in front of Akira now, even after all of their planning and believing in their leader, was shocking. It was a relief, after hearing the news. Trusting Sae. Trusting Futaba. Knowing that they had to keep up appearances until Akira came back. Yusuke couldn’t help being pessimistic sometimes. He couldn’t stop himself. When Akira’s suicide was announced on TV, a part of him couldn’t help wondering, his heart skipping several beats.

 

Thinking.

 

Being afraid.

 

Hoping.

 

He couldn’t help thinking that maybe Akira really had been killed. He’d heard Akechi on the phone, talking about the shooting. So he knew it wouldn’t have been suicide. Something could have went wrong with the plan. That aside, Akira, Joker was far too strong to ever end his own life. That strength was one of the reasons he pledged himself to Akira’s cause.

 

It wasn’t until after all their friends had all gone, telling him to rest easy for the night, taking Akira’s words as assurance that he really was fine that Yusuke spoke up.

 

“ Are you alright? “

 

A simple question. With an obvious answer. Of course he wasn’t. Yusuke could see his bruises from here, the way he was sort of limping. His glasses were missing, leaving his eyes on full display. Showing how tired and empty he felt right then, preparing to lie to Yusuke, assure him he was fine as well. Even though Yusuke could see it, reaching out to him, shaking his shoulders.m lightly.

 

Akira was a good liar, but not when Yusuke could see his eyes, when he was too tired to keep up his façade, in front of someone who could sense his weakness anyway.

 

“ Don’t lie, not to me. “

 

Akira had narrowed his eyes then, pushing Yusuke’s hands off of him.

 

“ I’m not lying. If I said I’m fine, then I’m fine. “

 

Yusuke probably would have argued the point, gotten Akira to just admit he needed help, that he wasn’t okay this once. And that was fine, because Yusuke was here for him. To listen or support him however he needed. What had they done to him, leaving him in such a state?

 

But the messy haired boy didn’t have to say any words at all; his body betrayed him, his leg giving out underneath him briefly. Just long enough to send him reeling, Yusuke reaching out to catch him, to make sure he was standing up straight. To wrap one of Akira’s arms around his shoulder so the shorter boy could lean against him.

 

“ Dammit… I’m sorry, Yusuke. I can’t- “

 

He was about to go on before he closed his mouth and shook his head, clenching his jaw tightly.

 

“ … Nevermind. It’s nothing. I’ll be okay, you can let me go- “

 

“ No. I won’t. Let’s at least get you to the bathroom, see if I can do anything to help. “

 

Yusuke didn’t let him argue, just pulling Akira over to the small bathroom and sitting him on the toilet. They looked at each other, completely silent for a bit. Akira spoke up first, to apologize.

 

“ Hey. Look, I really am sorry. I’m barely coming down off of everything they gave me and everything fuckin’ hurts, Yusuke. I’m so… you don’t understand how angry I am. Angry and tired. Tired of this. “

 

Yusuke let him speak, wetting a cloth with cool water and wiping Akira’s face off. He took a moment to open Akira’s shirt, pressing his lips together and cleaning up the cuts he could see, where Akira was hit too hard and his skin broke. He listened to Akira speak, the cold tone different from even his most dangerous Joker voice. He didn’t like it. But he kept silent, not interrupting Akira, just taping bandages across his chest and back as best he could.

 

“ You didn’t have to. But I’m… I’m glad you didn’t leave with everyone else. “

 

“ Leave you alone like this? You’re limping and you have at least a dozen cuts and bruises… You acted like it didn’t affect you at all. I was so worried- I knew we had a plan. I know we did but I saw the news and I couldn’t help but think you might have actually… “

 

Yusuke swallowed, finding himself unable to actually say that to Akira’s face. But he didn’t have to, Akira nodded and said he understood.

 

“ You worried about me? I’m fine. A little beat up but I told you I could take a hit, didn’t I? Several, actually. But I’m here, alive. “

 

Akira sighed, his next words hardly louder than a whisper.

 

“ Yusuke. Would it be wrong if I said I wanted to make them pay for this? “

 

The question hadn’t sat right with Yusuke when it was asked but before he could reply, Akira waved it off.

 

“ You know what… Nevermind. Just ignore that. I’m just tired. Let’s go upstairs. You got ointment and bandages on everything I can feel. That’s good for now. “

 

“ … Are you sure? Should I carry you- “

 

“  _ No _ . I can walk on my own. “

 

The sharp tone made Yusuke move back, frowning.

 

“ I wasn’t saying you couldn’t I just wanted to help. “

 

Akira closed his eyes, pulling himself to his feet before nodding.

 

“ Just let me lean on you. That’s more than enough. You shouldn’t be seeing me out of shape like this anyways. “

 

Yusuke moved so that Akira could hold onto his shoulder, trying to figure out how to say what he wanted to clearly.

 

“ … I don’t always need to see you at your best. I still think you’re a capable leader. And it wouldn’t ever affect how I feel personally. This isn’t your fault. It’s those officers’. I don’t think you’re weak for getting hurt. And I don’t… blame you for being angry at them… “

 

He felt like he was rambling, not making anything better. But Akira squeezed his hand once they made it up the stairs, smiling for a moment.

 

“ Of all our friends, I’m glad you’re the one here. Thanks. “

 

\\\\\

 

That was the last time Yusuke could remember Akira really smiling at him. Something about what had happened in that station seemed to stick with Akira. Where he’d gone out of his way to do nice things for Yusuke before, he was more angry now. He was still  _ nice _ to Yusuke, made time for him, but there was something Yusuke couldn’t put words to lingering in his eyes.

 

It wasn’t until he had a dream of some prison room with guards dressed in all blue that he saw what it was in Akira. Yusuke could see him talking to a man with a long, pointy nose, a girl with butterfly clips in her hair standing nearby, looking shocked.

 

He’d  _ thought  _ it was nothing but a dream. There’s no way Akira would give up the fate of so many people for himself...

 

But when he woke up from that ‘ dream ‘, he was sitting in one of Leblanc’s booths, the one closest to the door. The TV was on, saying something about someone else opposing the Phantom Thieves being detained. Akira was standing just across from him, smirking at the screen.

 

“ What… “

 

Yusuke’s head hurt. Too much that had happened the past few… days? Was blurry. Too much felt painful like there was something he was missing out on.

 

Akira turned to him, smiling in what he probably thought was a comforting manner but only made the hairs on Yusuke’s neck rise. When Akira stepped closer, he leaned back. Something blue flashed at the edges of his vision, right where he couldn’t see it.

 

“ Don’t- “

 

“ Hey… It’s okay, Yusuke. It’s alright now. You’ve just been sleeping for a while. I was wondering when you were going to wake up. Everyone else did a couple of days ago. “

 

Akira moved closer to Yusuke until they were sitting in the same seat. He wrapped an arm around Yusuke’s shoulder like he would have before things became a matter of life or death. Before, he’d have yearned for that touch. 

 

It wasn’t comforting now. Yusuke could feel something off about this whole scene. Or at least… he thought he could. Like something trying to warn him.

 

“ I’ve been asleep for days? And where is everyone else? “

 

Akira nodded.

 

“ Yeah. I was really worried, y’know. I’ve got them out doing odd jobs here and there. I’ve got something to tell you, if you’re actually up. Not just… sleep talking like you were? You sounded scared. “

 

Akira’s hands came up to rest on Yusuke’s shoulders and he was torn between leaning closer to Akira or pushing him away. It was comforting but something still made him think it was wrong. So he gently pushed Akira’s arms away, shaking his head, holding the side of his temple.

 

“ Why would I be scared? We… were going into Mementos and that’s all I can remember. Nothing after that is clear. I remember fighting with you beforehand. I can remember fighting Akechi. Fighting Shido. And we… were waiting. Do you know what happened? “

 

He opened his eyes, looking over at Akira.

 

“ What did you want to tell me? I am most definitely awake now. “

 

Akira dropped his arms to his sides, looking at Yusuke over the rim of his glasses.

 

“ Everyone else is happy so far. They picked up pretty quickly on the new jobs. I was saving a more important job for you. There’s something I wanted you to do with me. “

 

There was a lilt to Akira’s voice that Yusuke never remembered being there. Something dangerous, but not like his Joker voice… This sounded crueler, almost. It just made him want to put distance between them.

 

“ New jobs? What are you talking about? What did you need me for that’s so important? “

 

Akira reached out to touch Yusuke’s cheek.

 

“ I told you before. There’s a lot of people who did a lot of bad shit to take us out. I want to make them pay for it. So I made a deal, that’s probably why you can’t remember anything past our last couple of fights. I didn’t know that was going to happen but you didn’t die so. I’m just glad you’re up now. You should be more than strong enough to help me out. You want to help me, right? Yusuke? “

 

Akira’s thumb brushed over Yusuke’s cheek and he had to resist the urge to flutter his eyelashes. Something in his mind, that same, small blue butterfly if he closed his eyes, was telling him not to listen to Akira. Which was… a weird thing to say. Why did he feel so off since waking up? Why wouldn’t he listen to Akira? This was his leader. Right?

 

“ I’m not sure. Do we need to change someone’s heart? Is that what you were waiting for? Did you really need my help? “

 

Akira laughed. Leaned closer to Yusuke until they were close enough to kiss.

 

“ We don’t have to change hearts anymore. Hmm. You just woke up so you wouldn’t know. I made a deal so that no one could put us down again. We were trying to do something good and so many people wanted to stop it. So I made a decision that would keep our group together. If they agreed to the way we operate now, then they were freed from that prison room. “

 

Yusuke narrowed his eyes, bringing his hands up to push Akira back. What was Akira talking about? A deal? A prison? Like from his dream…?

 

“ What do you mean ‘  _ if they agreed ‘?  _ What if they didn’t? Akira, what are you talking about- what did you do? Are our friends okay? “

 

Akira scoffed, leaning back in his seat.

 

“ Ann and Ryuji are fine. I have no clue where Morgana ran off to. Makoto is out doing a small job for me, proving herself. But I don’t think I’ve seen Futaba or Haru at all since the incident. I let you out of that prison though. You’re special to me, Yusuke. “

 

He tried to reach out to Yusuke again but his hand was brushed away.

 

“ Don’t touch me. What did you do to them? Don’t try to talk down to me or lie to me. Akira. “

 

Yusuke was gripping the edge of the table while Akira looked on, almost disappointed.

 

“ But I’m your boyfriend, Yusuke. I love you. I didn’t do anything to them. They just had to be on board with our better tactics. I told you already but I always did have to explain things for you. I want you to come kill someone with me. But don’t worry. We won’t get in trouble. I’ve got a really powerful friend now. You shouldn’t ask questions like that, got it? “

 

Akira moved to stand up, turning his back to Yusuke.

 

“ I gave you a really big chance here, letting you out without proving yourself or anything. You don’t doubt me, right? This is what they deserve. I really didn’t think you’d be so... aggressive. Come on, Yusuke. Don’t think I haven’t seen how angry you got when people thought we weren’t the good guys. “

 

His voice lowered, like he was trying to oure Yusuke into a trap. 

 

“ You feel the same way as I do. You remember how I came home from the station that night. I didn’t want the same thing to happen to you. So I found someone that promised it wouldn’t. No one can stand up and tell a lie about us now. Isn’t that what we wanted? “

 

The more Akira spoke, the more convinced Yusuke was that this wasn’t  _ his _ Akira. He looked the same but the way he was talking was wrong. There was no way…

 

“ No. That’s not what I wanted. We agreed that no matter how we were wronged, we wouldn’t resort to murder. Don’t tell me you thought I was going to be okay with this… I love you. Very much. But no. I’m not going to kill someone, even if they are the people that left you so hurt that night. I - I can’t just kill someone! And neither could you- “

 

Akira turned back to Yusuke with eyes that burned red like he was in the Metaverse.

 

“ Oh, Yusuke. I always  _ could _ have. I chose not to because that’s what we originally agreed on as a group. And it almost got us all killed. I should have just did it from the beginning. We deserve this recognition, Yusuke. I know you can see that. Or rather, I know you will. It might just take a little time, right? “

 

Yusuke moved forward in his seat, closer to Akira but also closer to the door. That little butterfly was warning him to be careful. 

 

“ Just let me go. I need time to think about this… “

 

Akira snorted.

 

“ Oh, darling. You know I’m not  _ that _ stupid. Are you afraid of me? Of the consequences? There’s no need for any of that. I’ll ask one more time. Are you going to come with me? “

 

“ … What happens if I say no? This is too much to think about and I… I’m not sure- “

 

Akira looked sad, the first real bit of emotion Yusuke had seen from him since waking up.

 

“ That would really hurt my feelings. You were always so eager to follow me before. You told me you’d follow me anywhere. Where you lying? There’s no reason to be afraid now. I’m the same Akira you love. “

 

He held a hand out to Yusuke, whose eyes flicked down to it before looking back up at Akira’s eyes and shaking his head.

 

“ I can’t. You… aren’t, are you? “

 

Akira blinked, his sad features hardening into a mask of indifference.

 

“ Tell the prison guards I said hello. You weren’t ready to leave like I thought. “

 

Akira pulled a small needle from his pocket, moving quicker than Yusuke could see, stabbing it into his neck.

 

Yusuke’s vision was already going blurry, Akira’s face coming into focus every couple of seconds.

 

“ Why- “

 

“ Because I love you. I made a deal that changed the world and I want you to have a place in it. But you aren’t ready to be here. I’ll see you again, someday soon. Night, Yusuke. “

 

Akira kissed him lightly, the last thing he could remember before his consciousness faded out. 


End file.
